The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize