Im at strip club and am horny
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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