It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
