i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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