"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
