I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
