I cockslap morals
I think I am morally bankrupt
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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