you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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