My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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