so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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