Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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