I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
