youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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