Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
