I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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