He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
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Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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