she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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