1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
