Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
