im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
