You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
