This is not my ceiling
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize