Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
