Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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