school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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