I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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