I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
