the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
