Your favorite bartender is back from prision
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
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There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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