girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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