Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
