Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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