love makes seman taste better
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
