She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
