dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
