Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Houston, we have a blender
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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