New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She's just so happy...and so naked.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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