Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
