Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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