I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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