Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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