This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
