Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
