Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you made out with another girl for some wings
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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