id be glad to
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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