hell yes lets make some ravioli
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize