i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
