4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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