oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If I die, sorry about rent.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize