look no pants
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
