I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
operation harelip BJ is a go
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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