Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
