So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
