okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
