Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
