I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
