I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
