Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
