so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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