Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
