brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
