I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
