my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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