Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
