I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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