Your favorite bartender is back from prision
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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