I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
