Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just found puke in my bra..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
