I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm always down for nudity.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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