Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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