I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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